On May 21, 1998 in Springfield, Oregon, 15-year-old Kip Kinkel allegedly pointed a .22 caliber rifle and opened fire on fellow students assembled in the school cafeteria. Two students were killed and 22 more were injured. Police also allege that Kip shot his parents to death the day before. According to friends of the family, Kip’s parents were devoted to their son, and Kip was shy and quiet. However, Kip had a history of rebelliousness and a terrible temper when things did not go his way.
Uncontrollable anger and violence against strangers, fellow classmates/workers and family members has become tragically a regular occurence.
The Bible has many verses regarding anger and its effects. “An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression” (Prov. 29:22). “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools” (Eccl. 7:9). “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city” (Prov. 16:32). How can we control our temper and not get into some act of violence? We may not go to the extent of some serious crime as armed robbery or murder, but I am sure many if not all of us have done or said something we regretted because of our temper.
Here are some suggestions to control anger that I have found very helpful:
1. Give a Soft Answer. “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger” (Prov. 15:1).
2. Take Time Off. Don’t respond immediately. Often, time cools down a hot temper.
3. Avoid Bad Company. “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul” (Prov. 22:24, 25).
4. Stay Healthy and Exercise. Many people lose their temper because they are hungry and fatigued. Exercise releases endorphins in the body to help cope with anger.
5. Good Music. Soft music often relaxes tense nerves.
6. Forgiveness. “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking,be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Eph. 4:31, 32).
7. Prayer. Ask God for help and the power to control anger. “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Phil. 4:13). When we daily invite Jesus into our lives, He will give the peace that we need. “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them” (Psalm 119:165).
I pray these seven tips will help you as they have helped me. I am sure the society we live in would be a better place if we all could learn to control anger. May God be with you always.
Ly Lan Nguyen
