My husband and I are expecting our fourth child in a few more months. I began my pregnancy with antici-
pation and excitement for a new baby boy or girl. We already have three wonderful boys and we wanted one more child for our third son to play with and to have the blessing of one more child for our family to enjoy. Some people told us that it would be great to have a girl, finally. I envisioned our family having a girl, but decided not to dwell on the idea. I thought in my mind, whatever God gives, boy or girl, would be just fine.
As my pregnancy progressed, I really became emotionally attached to the baby inside me. It was a miracle to realize that a living person was growing and depending on me for its life and sustenance. Everything that I did would affect my baby. The idea that this baby would probably be my last, further bonded me with this little one.
About four months into my pregnancy, I received a phone call from my doctor that devestated me. She said that my blood test was abnormal and that my baby may have down syndrome. She said to take some further tests to determine whether I should terminate the pregnancy or not. By four months, we already saw ultrasound pictures of a developed baby moving and growing. I usually try not to jump to conclusions, but this time, it was a very difficult experience for me. How could I end the life of my baby this way? The test might not even be true. Or, how could our family and the baby go on through life if the test was true in the end?
It took much tears and prayer to God for me to have some peace of mind. My husband and I finally decided that whatever happens, we would keep our baby. This decision is difficult for anyone, and no situation is the same. For us, we felt that God was leading us to continue with the pregnancy. In Psalm 73:26, the Bible says, “My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever.” I claim this promise and pray for strength everyday.
A month later, I had an ultrasound appointment with another specialist. Looking at the features of the baby, the physician determined that the baby was normal and healthy and gave us a 90% assurance of his determination. He also said it was a baby boy, -100%.
My husband and I were greatly relieved as the doctor assured us there was not much to be alarmed about. We will certainly be happy for a healthy baby, regardless of whether it is a boy or girl. We have learned to trust God more and to be content with whatever comes our way. God knows the end from the beginning and we leave everything in His hands.
Cynthia Ly Lan Nguyen
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